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Quote from Ludwig Bemelmans’ Madeline series

When I fell asleep, my soul became consumed in a black void. I no longer awoke in the mornings refreshed; I was tired and told myself that I had one day less to live in this world. I shuffled through my chores, dreading every moment of every day. With no dreams, I found that words like hope and faith were only letters, randomly put together into something meaningless - words only for fairy tales.

Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.

Without giving up anything on the plane of justice, yeild nothing on the plane of freedom.

Gods, I love it when you talk mathy to me.

Sometimes I think about telling Mom how much I hate being home alone every afternoon, turning on the television just to pretend there’s company. All those takeout dinners at the big dining room table, chairs empty, invisible guests eating invisible soup and drinking made-up wine in my head. I want to shake her and scream and tell her that for all her hard work to secure our future, the snake plants in the foyer know more about my life than she does.

How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.

All great and precious things are lonely.

I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there’s no relief in waking.